Infertility can have a massive impact on a couple’s sex life. What was once a fun, spontaneous event is now timed and full of stress. This makes the act seem mechanical and forced. The anxiety that a couple feels about the outcome can easily take all the love and desire out of their life. All of this can make a person stop wanting to have sex all together.
Personally, I went through a very long time where I couldn't give a damn if we ever had sex. Many times I would end up in tears afterwards thinking that it was just a waste of my time and efforts. Thanks to my husbands huge amount of patience, love and understanding I got my groove back. It took a long time, but was definitely worth it.
The first thing you need to do is talk with your partner! Communication is key to any relationship and is vital to keeping your sex life a happy one. Share your thoughts, concerns, fears and whatever you might be feeling. You might be surprised to learn that your partner shares many of these thoughts. By keeping the lines of communication open not only will your sex life improve, but your relationship overall will get stronger.
For most couples sex is a private act that no one else really cares to hear about. When you’re trying to conceive it can seem like everyone in your life is your bedroom. Family, friends, and doctors seem to always have some sort of presence in your sex life. This creates even more pressure for any couple trying to have sex. Trying to forget all about these people can help you relax and focus on the pleasure that sex can give you without focusing on the desired outcome of having a child.
Timing can be everything for those trying to conceive. By making sure that you have sex during the woman’s ovulation is necessary to conceive a child. That doesn’t mean that’s the only time you should be having sex. Bring the spontaneity back into your relationship will help you to shake anxiety that your feeling. Also, having satisfying sex can help you to look forward to the “timed” sex that you know is coming.
This can also be a great time for couples to widen their sexual horizons. Start checking out different types of sex toys, erotica, lubes, fantasies, and new positions. All of these can take your sex life from boring to fun and exciting again. Exploring new things together can also help to strengthen your relationship. You’ll learn more about your partner and what they like. Helping both of you have a happy, healthy sex life.
Perhaps one of the best things to remember is that sex is suppose to be fun. Stop looking at it like a chore that needs to be done like the dishes. When people are trying to conceive they can start taking sex very seriously. Don’t be afraid to keep your sense of humor about everything. Laugh at the ridiculous advice people give, stare slack jawed at those enormous toys, wonder at how a person can ever get into some of those karma sutra poses. Happiness can be infectious. If you can keep your spirits up, chances are that your partner will too.
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